Author: N. Danilava

In one of the videos I do my morning workouts with, a fitness coach says, “Be sure to push yourself enough because nobody else will do it for you.” And every time I hear those words, I think, “Well, that’s not exactly true.” There are plenty of people in your life who would willingly push you, exercising their power over you, stripping you of your sacred right to autonomy. These people are everywhere – it can start with your parents, then teachers and coaches, then bosses and even friends or lovers. You can even hire a fitness coach with a particularly aggressive style, who will push you as hard as you never would by yourself.

At first sight, why should you care if you achieve desired goals one way or another? Those people maybe satisfy their own needs, but they help you along the way – to get better grades, to get a better job, to get in better shape. There shouldn’t be any difference. Oh, but there is.

You probably heard that the need for autonomy is one of the basic human needs, along with competence and relatedness. Okay, but what does autonomy mean? According to Self-Determination Theory developed by researchers Edward L. Deci and Richard M. Ryan, “the need for autonomy refers to the necessity of experiencing a sense of volition. … When a behaviour is autonomously motivated it means a person is behaving in line with their own desires and an authentic part of him/herself.” (1)

The beginning of the need for autonomy can be traced to the very infancy. Every living being needs executive control, a part of a general cognitive function, to simply attain what it wants. The research shows: “After controlling for children’s cognitive capacity and maternal education, both sensitivity and maternal autonomy support, assessed when children were 12–15 months old, related to executive control at 18 and 26 months, with maternal autonomy support emerging as the most consistent predictor of enhanced executive control.” (1) Which means that the mother’s behavior regarding the child’s autonomy conditions the executive control of the child: if she supports the child in expressing its desires and acting upon them, then the child develops the capacity to interact with the world effectively in satisfying its needs. Contradictory to some parents’ beliefs, the child doesn’t become selfish, capricious, or maladapted because of that. “Dozens of studies have convincingly shown that autonomy-supportive parenting yields various benefits, including greater teacher-rated competence and grades, more personal well-being, and better social adjustment.” (1)

Also, “several studies have shown that autonomy-supportive (in contrast to controlling) teachers catalyze in their students greater intrinsic motivation, curiosity, and the desire for challenge. Students who are overly controlled not only lose initiative but also learn less well, especially when learning is complex or requires conceptual, creative processing.” (2)

Let’s look at another practical example from a study – “In a school setting first- and second-grade children came individually to an art room to do a painting project. An experimenter set limits on their behaviors, advocating neatness and organization, either in a controlling or autonomy-supportive way. The autonomy-supportive method was based on SDT and included a rationale, an expression of empathy, and a clear limit. The controlling method simply directed the child to follow the limit. It was found that the controlling limits undermined the enjoyment of painting and creativity relative to autonomy supportive limits.” (1) Let’s go over this one more time – “undermined the enjoyment and creativity.”

Simply put, you lose the ability to enjoy the thing you’re doing if it’s imposed on. And what if every single thing in your life was forced upon? No, you wouldn’t be just unhappy, no. You would be deeply mentally disturbed. Because the autonomy heavily figures “intrinsic motivation, internalization, emotion regulation, and identity formation.” Thus the following sounds obvious and yet appalling: “It is clear, for example, that the lack of autonomy support and genuine relatedness by caregivers are antecedent to the development of a wide range of pathologies.” (1) Authors linked disturbed autonomy to depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder, dissociative disorder, etc, through a mass of research work.

Now we can get back at the issue of exercising. The notion of finding yourself someone who would compel you and push you into working out doesn’t look so good anymore, does it? The same is with any other thing a person does. It’s not only better but vital to find meaning and desire to do any given thing than to live with a grueling feeling of being enslaved. Research strongly supports it: “Between-persons analyses indicated that persons higher in the traits of autonomy and competence tended to report greater well-being on average.” (3)

“The best physical health was reported by participants who had high level of subjective well-being and whose behaviours were self-determined. Additional analyses have shown that the moderating effect of self-determination is based on the moderational impact of autonomous motives and not the controlling ones. Additionally, whether autonomous motivation moderates the relationship between components of subjective well-being and physical health was also tested. The findings have shown that autonomous motives moderate relationship between physical health and one component of well-being, positive affect. Consequently, a good physical health was found among participants with high positive affect and behaviours regulated by high degree of autonomous motives. Conclusion which can be drawn from these findings is that if an individual behaves autonomously then it can contribute to positive mind-body influences and support their own health.” (4)

At the end of the day, the main task a human has is to find a way to live your life willingly. Letting someone else decide and be that pushing power for you instead of acting of your own will might seem easier. But ultimately, that’s the devil’s bargain.

Sources:

1. Richard M. Ryan, Edward L. Deci, And Maarten Vansteenkiste. Developmental psychopathology: theory and method. Chapter 9: Autonomy and Autonomy Disturbances in Self-Development and Psychopathology: Research on Motivation, Attachment, and Clinical Proces, 2015.

2. Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivations: Classic Definitions and New Directions. Richard M. Ryan and Edward L. Deci. University of Rochester Contemporary Educational Psychology 25, 54–67 (2000) doi:10.1006/ceps.1999.1020.

3. Reis HT, Sheldon KM, Gable SL, Roscoe R, Ryan R (2000) Daily well being: the role of autonomy, competence and relatedness. Pers Soc Psychol Bull 26: 419–435.

4. Marcinko I (2015) The Moderating Role of Autonomous Motivation on the Relationship between Subjective Well-Being and Physical Health. PLoS ONE 10(5): e0126399.